“Blessed are you pilgrim, because you have discovered that the true journey begins when it ends.”
— Anonymous Pilgrim
That statement above feels so true. We’ve been home 13 days and are struggling to find our “way” after being gone for some 41 days, 34 of them walking alone and with the world.
Today Jane reached out to a dear friend that we made on the Camino to see how she was doing since returning home. This friend texted back with what felt to Jane and I the perfect summation of how we have been feeling. This is what she said:
So nice to hear from you. I was finally telling Patch (her 21 year old autistic son) Camino stories which included so many stories with you guys. At one point, I told one of the stories and then said something like ….then guess who we ran into. Patch says. “Jay and Jane!!!” Exactly.
We have been home 2 weeks and that seems crazy to me. Sometimes it feels like we were just there and have only been back a few days. Other times it feels like a lifetime ago. As time passes it almost feels as if it never happened but for the human stories that I know were real. I have not done much since getting home. Just kinda hanging out at home.
I remain relieved to have a bed without stressing and the power to do laundry on demand, although the washer is making a funny sound, but I find myself missing the walking, the clarity and singularity of purpose, the defined and, although difficult, achievable objective. Just walking….faster, slower, up, down, shorter, or longer, but just walking. The myriad of choices, required activities and options that surround me here, seem confusing and unfulfilling. I sometimes feel like I have not come back, not completely. We finished the Camino and returned home but I have not fully plugged back in. I am back in the familiar but it does not seem to fit me the same anymore.
Lots to process and I have been binge watching the West Wing instead of doing that. Reentry/reforming life at home around a changed core takes more time than I anticipated. Sounds crazy I think. It is especially crazy to anyone who has not walked. People want fun stories about my epic vacation but that is not what it was. So I have held back on reconnecting with friends here because I find it hard to describe what we did. It was big and I feel different but I can’t yet wrap words around the experience or its impact on me.
Like our Camino friend I am still processing this experience. At the Church of St. Stephen in Zabaldika—see photo above—a volunteer gave us a sheet of paper with the words below on it. I found a similar version of The Pilgrims Beatitudes online. I took the best from both as well as made some minor edits of my own. These words also help articulate what I’m not sure yet how to express.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, if you discover that the path opens your eyes to what is not seen.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, if what concerns you most is not getting there, but getting there with others.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, when you contemplate the path and you discover it is full of names and dawns.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, if your backpack is emptying of things and your heart does not know where to put so many feelings and emotions.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, if you discover that one step back to help another is more valuable than a hundred forward if you miss seeing Who is at your side.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, when you lack words to express your gratitude for all that surprises you at every wonderous turn and plain straight view of the way.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, if you search for the truth, and make of the path a life, and of your life a “way,” with the One who is the Way, the Truth and the Life.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, if on the way you meet yourself because you gave yourself the gift of time, avoiding haste, so as not to miss the divine image in your heart.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, if you discover that the path holds much silence, and the silence becomes prayer, and the prayer becomes a conversation with the God who wholly loves you.
- Blessed are you pilgrim, because you have discovered that the true journey begins when it ends.
The journey makes you a pilgrim. Because the way to Santiago is not just a path to be walked in order to get somewhere, nor it is a test to reach a reward. El Camino de Santiago is both a parable and a reality because it is traveled at once within and without the specific time that it takes to walk each stage—and along your entire life if only you allow the Camino to get into you—to transform you and make into a true pilgrim.
The Camino makes you simpler, because the lighter the backpack, the less strain on your back and the more you will experience how little you need to be alive.
The Camino makes you brother or sister. Whatever you have you must be ready to share because even if you started out on your own, you will meet companions and care about them.
The Camino breeds community, community that greets the other, that takes interest in how the walk is going for the other, that talks and shares with the other.
The Camino makes demands on you. You must get up even before the sun in spite of tiredness or blisters; you must walk in the darkness of night while dawn is growing, you must just get the rest that will keep you going.
The Camino calls you to contemplate, to be amazed, to welcome, to interiorize, to stop, to be quiet, to listen to, to admire, to bless…nature, our companions on the journey, ourselves, God.
And so to you, I say, as is so often said on the path: Buen Camino! or have a good way—a good life. If you are interested in reading my pilgrim musings throughout our trip and after go to @jaygriffithiv on Instagram or @jay.griffith4 on Facebook
